Thursday, April 20, 2006

Big Willie Style thrills even the most incapacitated!


Imdb.com today has the strangest story:

"Movie star Will Smith thrilled Israel's Prime Minister Ariel Sharon by agreeing to a private meeting with the politician yesterday. Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith flew to Israel from Dubai for a whistle-stop tour of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv as part of a long-standing promise to meet with Sharon. The brief meeting took place behind closed doors..."

This is strange because last I heard, Sharon was still in a coma from his January stroke. I really don't see there being any way, shape, or form that Sharon could be 'thrilled' in his state. And of course it was a brief meeting! I'm sure a lucid Sharon would've spent hours asking if Carlton really was that much a pain in the ass...but people in comas generally keep conversation to a minimum.

It's quite apparent that someone 'flashy-thinged' the imdb news staff, erasing their memroies. I wonder how many emails they're getting about this and if they'll offer a correction tomorrow. Hmm, let's see, replace "thrilled" with "had no visible effect" and "agreeing to" with "agreeing (guiltily for not meeting him prior to his stroke) to."

And also...what the heck are the Smiths doing on a "whistle-stop" tour of Jersusalem and Tel-Aviv? I thought that was something politicians did. Is Will running for Israeli office? Can Mike Lowery restore peace in the troubled region? Will Martin Lawrence be involved (we can only hope so)? I don't see how this wouldn't work, Will succeeds in everything he...does....oh....yeah....Wild....Wild...West. Yeah, forgot about that one...maybe it's best he stay home.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Film Review: King Kong (2005) A



Date watched: 1/1/06
Venue: ArcLight Hollywood
Grade: A

Warning, this review contains dreaded spoilers...

King Kong is next in chapter Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings…wait a minute, it’s not a Lord of the Rings movie, it’s a monkey movie. But it’s a monkey movie with all the cinematic trappings of Jackson’s last three films. The near excessive use of slow motion, the way it actually makes you give a damn about the characters, a cg creature you believe, an expansive running time, a somewhat ‘unusual’ love story (we’ve got Naomi rebounding from Heath Ledger with Kong, and remember Frodo did have Sam). And just like the LOTR trilogy, King Kong delivers the goods, in this case a solidly entertainingly action-adventurer that just happens to be a faithful remake of one of Hollywood golden classics.

Our story begins in New York, 1933, with unscrupulous movie producer
Carl Derham (Jack Black) conning and coercing his cast, crew, and hired ship to the mysterious, almost mythical, Skull Island. Black is great as the fast-talking double dealing Dernham, a big improvement over his normal buffoon roles. Naomi Watts is stunning (as she usually is) as the innocent ingénue Ann Darrow. Ann has a schoolgirls’ crush on writer Jack Driscol (Adrian Brody), well, she has a crush on his work, at least. Watts and Brody do a fine job portraying the initial awkwardness of their blooming relationship

The script, penned by Jackson and Mrs. Lord Of The Rings Ann Walsh, also gives quite of background to many of the secondary characters on the boat. It’s all a set-up, really. The whole point of these scenes is to make us actually care when lives are in peril. It’s strange, you watch a film like this, and you’re fully aware what Jackson is doing by carefully introducing his characters, the way he’s beginning to pull your strings, but with strong dialog and even stronger performances, you really don’t mind. Speaking of secondary characters, special notice must be made of Kyle Chandler, who gives a superbly over-the-top performance as Bruce Baxter, Derham’s stereotypically egotistical star thespian.

Upon arriving at Skull Island, our adventurous crew runs afoul of ghoulish-looking natives, dinosaurs, and finally, Kong. The natives are particularly scary, almost alien. They capture Ann as a sacrifice to the mighty Kong, who makes a brief appearance and kidnaps Ann, taking her deep into the island. Jack charges into the wild after his love, followed by some of the crew.

In their search they encounter many of the islands more dangerous inhabitants, man-eating insects, dinosaurs. Ah yes, The dinosaurs…well, I guess this proves how good the effects were twelve years ago in Jurassic Park, because the dinosaurs still pretty much look the same as they did then. That’s not to say they’re particularly bad looking, but there’s a shot here or there that doesn’t look up to par.

The entire middle act of the film is practically filled with action, running from dinosaurs, fighting off insects, worms, all sorts of unimaginable creepiness. It’s all done very well and really gets the adrenaline pumping, but it almost feels like overkill. We could’ve lived with one less dinosaur chase sequence. We didn’t need the man-eating grubs. These are great sequences in of their own but after awhile they’re not moving the story ahead enough. And when you’re dealing with a film of this length, you’ve got to wonder if the film really needed some of these scenes.

Meanwhile, amidst all this action. Ann actually builds a rapport with Kong, showing a feisty spirit and actually builds a connection with the beast. We begin to see a softer, human side to Kong. But of course, just as soon as you’re ready to invite Kong over for dinner with the kids, he’s captured by Dernham and the ship’s crew.

Onto New York City, where Carl has Kong on display, ready to premiere on Broadway. Ann and Jack are also in town, despondent over poor Kong. The show opens, and of course, all hell breaks lose as Kong goes on a rampage through the city streets looking for his beloved Ann.

Eventually, he finds her, and while the two are on the lam from the authorities they share a scene straight out of a Meg Ryan romantic comedy. Night time. Frozen lake. Ice dancing, well if by ice dancing you mean sliding around on Kong’s hairy butt while Naomi has the time of her life (I could actually hear that damned “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life” song from Dirty Dancing in this scene). Well, finally their fun ends as the Army catches up to the pair, forcing Kong to flee up the Empire State Building.

The film ends with the iconic scene of Kong atop Empire State swinging and swatting at attacking biplanes, until Kong is overcome by their bullets and falls, slowly, dramatically, with one last glace at his love, to his death.

Yes, it’s overblown, yes it’s just plain silly, but you really buy that Kong loves Ann. And that Ann actually loves Kong. It works. It shouldn’t. Your bullshit meter should be off the charts…but it works.

The film is an amazing achievement in these days of slim quality blockbuster pickings. A harrowing action picture with not one, but two convincing love stories, a bevy of impressive special effects, and a moving climax. Kudos to Peter Jackson for again taking a classic, humanizing it, and simply taking it to another level.

Herschel D'ohennis


Poor USC running back (don't fumble!) Herschel Dennis. The fifth-year senior blew out his knee again this weekend prior to USC's spring scrimmage (which was not televised...unlike Oklahoma's, which got the ESPN treatment...outrage I say!). This after tearing ligaments last year and previously being being completely outshined by then-freshmen Reggie Bush and LenDale White in 2003. Dennis will miss the remainder of this season and will apply for the Malefou MacKenzie Memorial Sixth Year Of NCAA Eligibility.

Now it's up to Michael (I'm way better than LenDale) Coleman and a bevy of freshmen tailbacks to take some of the heat off Mark Sanchez this fall (oh come on, you know it's not going to be John David Booty).

It'll be good to have Don't Fumble Herschel around next year. He'll still be the only guy on the team who can actually say he was on the field the same time as Carson Palmer. And that makes us all feel a little younger, doesn't it?

Film Review: Monty Python And The Holy Grail (1975) B+




Date watched: 12/31/05
Venue: DVD
Grade: B+

Warning: This review contains dreaded spoilers...

I’ve never been a big fan of British comedy. It’s generally either too ‘out there’ for me or simply relies on a lot of build up for very little pay off. Yes, I know British ‘humour’ is all about the drolly-told setup, but you know, it just doesn’t do it for me on a regular basis. That said, I recently watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time (about 30 years too late, yeah, I know), and you know what, I actually quite enjoyed it.

The story revolves around King Arthur’s (Graham Chapman) silly adventures while attempting to gather up knights to join him in his quest to find the Holy Grail. Along the way he encounters a rather motley crew of cowardly knights, uppity peasants, crude Frenchmen, and other assorted oddities.

The film is, at it’s heart, a parody of epic-y medieval films, yet it plays like a series of vignettes, there’s not much in terms of story arc or character development, just a bunch of Arthur and his knight’s ridiculous episodes.

Interestingly, there’s a lot action that’s left to play in wider angles. I’ve always been a fan of 1970s frame compositions, and it’s funny to think that even the parody films of the seventies liked to keep it wide.

The film works best whenever there’s some kind of tightly paced banter (the entire witch scene, the peasants ruminations on the nature of their society, any discussion of swallows, African or otherwise), usually among the film’s supporting cast, whilst poor King Arthur plays the poor straight man to all the nonsense. You have to love Lancelot (John Cleese), blindly maiming dozens of innocents to save supposed damsel in distress, as well as Sir Robin’s minstrels, who constantly accompany him with songs relegating his less than courageous exploits.

Some of the‘out of left field’ bits were a bit much (the animated sections, for starters), and to be honest, the film’s ending (wherein modern day policemen apprehend our knights of the round table after they murder a modern day historian (don’t ask, it doesn’t make any sense), feels like they Pythons simply ran out of ideas, or more likely, money.

But for the most part, Monty Python and the Holy Grail really works and I recommend it to any film fan. Even if you hate British comedy and loath over-the-top farce, you should still see it, considering half the film’s dialog is part of our cultural vocabulary (who hasn’t said “tis only a flesh wound’ while losing limbs in a video game, and I know I’ve certainly yelled ‘Run away! Run away!’ to a USC quarterback or two fleeing blitzing defenders).

Score: 8/10

Additional notes:

I got the special edition of this for Christmas, and while I haven’t watched any of extra features, the descriptions of them on the back of the box are downright hysterical. Read them and you’ll see. Maybe British humor works better in print, I dunno.

Speaking of British humor, they’ve tacked on a new beginning to the movie. Well, kinda. It’s a minute or two of black & white opening credits for another, fictions film, interrupted by the sounds of a projectionist, realizing his mistake, and switching reels to our desired film. Yeah, kinda lame. Two minutes to tell a joke that’s not that funny. And one you see coming ten miles away, without binoculars.

And I wasn’t joking when I say this film is an essential part of our vocabulary. I’d never seen more than ten minutes at once on television and I knew virtually every line of dialog for the first 45 minutes or so.

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