Film Review: Miami Vice (2006) C-

Date Viewed: 8/8/06
Venue: DGA

Uber-director Michael Mann ressusication/update of his pastel-laden 1980s cop show is big on style but low on character. Vice cops Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) go deep undercover as defacto DEA agents to bring down an international drug ring. Along the way they kick some occasional ass and exchange serious stares.

The problem with Miami Vice isn't Mann's gritty style (previously seen in Heat and Collateral). I actually feel, style-wise, the film does a fine job of updating the coolness of the 80s TV show to the twenty-first century. Sportjacket/t-shirt combos are out, jump cuts and Audioslave songs are in.

The problem is character, or lack thereof. I dare anyone who's seen the film to come up with two adjectives to describe any of characters in Miami Vice. And you can't use 'serious' and 'focused.' Crockett and Tubbs stare intently at things, attention focused, nearly zero evidence of humanity. In fact, I have a hard time believing these guys are partners. I'm not asking for Lethal Weapon/Bad Boys level buddy cop hijinks, but come on, show us something that proves you have a pulse.

Another stumbling block for the film is Crockett's love affiar with Isabella (Gong Li), the drug rings money (wo)man. Ms Li, who I'm sure is a fine actress when speaking Chinese, is hindered by a strong accent, making her difficult to understand at times. And Farrell, who normally oozes charisma, has amazingly zero chemistry with the lovely Ms. Li. The two stare into each others eyes a lot, and the film tries to play this as an semi-unrequited love when it just reads as shallow physical attraction.

The Isabella affair also wreaks havoc with the film's pacing, yanking us away from the Crockett/Tubbs partnership for huge chunks of time. Crockett literally leaves Tubbs with the druggies (and without a ride, apparently) to go have a three-day Havanna tryst with Isabella. This might be okay if the film was called 'Crockett,' but last I checked, Miami Vice was about partners who were vice cops in Miami.

At this point, why even call this Miami Vice? We're barely in Miami. Crockett and Tubbs are unofficially deputized into the FBI ten minutes in, and Crockett gets much more screen time than Tubbs. Why not just call this something else, rename the characters, and then people like me won't be bitching about Tubbs' lack of screen time.

I've read that Michael Mann wanted to really strip the story of fat for Miami Vice. Unfortunately he went a little too far and stripped a lot of good character meat off as well. I really can't remember the last time I saw a film with such ummemorable characters. Couple that with an uneven story which too heavily weighs on an unconvincing romance, and you've got a very nicely polished turd.